Hopeful, maybe.

Only Hope- Mandy Moore
There’s a song that’s inside of my soul
It’s the one that I’ve tried to write over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you’re my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

I give You my destiny
I’m giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I’m giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

**********************************************

Seriously, I’m not sure anymore. I’m just not that kind of girl yeah?

OK fine,?I admit, I’m not a normal girl, or even, a normal human. Hmmm.. Just exclude the fact that at times, I do have feelings even though they are often neglected by others or abandoned by me. Other than that, I want to label myself as, in a positive manner, a “UNIQUE & SPECIAL” character. In short, weird, but OI, everyone’s different! :]

Going out with Michelle and Vicki was kind of fun if you exclude the shopping for clothes part. I apologise but I dislike shopping (it’ll be hate if it were not with friends). This makes me want to kill Adam and Eve, though I know they’re dead. WHY DID THEY HAVE TO EAT THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT? If they didn’t, we’ll all be frolicking naked without having to bother about clothes and other what-nots. & I will not have to bother about spending money on some piece of cloth which you usually pay for the brand and so-called quality. I hate being human for their self-conscious ways and also their scheming minds. I would much rather be a simple minded person who will be contented with a tree over my head and a slice of bread to eat. & it’ll also be a huge plus, if I do not have to spend a?quarter of my life studying something that I’m not interested in, not that I know what I’m interested in since i’m only thinking about what we’re having next period and counting down to recess then dismissal then the end of CCA.

How can some people look at things so positively? I think they’ll have to deprive me of school first before I can treasure it. But I doubt I will either, with a totally different mindset, I think school is a waste of time, in fact, if heaven is like what they say, I don’t see why we have to experience life on Earth first. Can’t we just live in heaven straight away? Anyway, we’ll die sooner or later, why give us the chance to live in a place where the cost of living is getting higher and higher & the pollution is killing us day by day?

I know one day I’m going to look back at this post again & laugh at how my weird mindset is making me crazy. One day, I’ll be self-conscious (maybe?) and I’ll start protesting to my past self, yelling to myself, “HEY! RETAIL THERAPY, RETAIL THERAPY! LIFE IS ALL ABOUT SHOPPING!” And perhaps by then, I’ll think that appearances mean A LOT and start bothering about those, dressing up? But for now, I’ll prefer not to like those. WASTE OF TIME. & perhaps by then, I’ll realise how lucky I am to be here on Earth, or if I live super long, I’ll realise how nice Earth is when I move to Mars or some other planet just because the ozone layer is depleting.

Sigh. I think I’m thinking too much? Or am I just blinded by the rest of the world and you?

So Yesterday

    

We were once in a room with four walls, perhaps with no way out, and only ourselves to depend on. All of a sudden, we’re being flung about in an anti-gravity dimension, slammed onto the four dull walls enclosing us inside. When I wake up from my unconscious state, I look around the room and instead of the original seven people, there is a decrease of numbers, perhaps three or four. All I know is that, we’re not together anymore.

In just a few short days, everything has changed. It may seem like it’s my fault since I’m the one speaking up, but I guess it was my mind leading me the whole time, doing what’s right instead of what I want. I’ve done it and I’m not going to spend my holidays moping around because of a decision I made.

Actually, to me, all these aren’t going to change the way I treat you or view you. I’m still going to be your good friend next year, IF you let me. I’ve already taken the approach of ‘forgive and forget’, now it’s your part to play. In our friendship, two hands clapping aren’t enough and my acceptance won’t be adequate. It’s your choice from here on.

& I’ll support you in everything you do.

*****************************************

CIB- COUNCILLORS IN BLUE 2007

1ST STUDENT COUNCIL: LUMEN

Yay! The investiture was on the 16th of november & it was quite successful from my point of view because… I DID NOT FORGET MY DANCE STEPS!

It was super hot wearing the investiture uniform from 10 am onwards, through the prize presentation as well since we were short of transition time between prize presentation and the investiture. Sadly, the prize presentation was delayed too & that meant we had less time to decorate the hall which we were not allowed to do so before the day itself because of the primary section. It was a really stressful period of time for everyone trying to get the chairs arranged and the remaining decorations done. But it was worth it for the FIRST student council.

The walking out was fine and I was kind of shocked by everyone because the cheering didn’t seem so loud when caralyn walked, and I realised that the cheering was OVERWHELMING when i walked down the aisle. SCARY. The dancing part was kind of embarrassing, in fact, VERY EMBARRASSING. Luckily I was standing on the main stage instead of the central stage, which I was supposed to dance on in front of all the guests, but phewww, I swopped with Mivio and stood in the middle of the stage. Super scary still, but better than dancing wrongly on the central stage.

It was fun cheering for everyone especially for LAUSHERNIN, the ‘BEST’ candidate for dancing on the central stage. After the entire ceremony ended, we went to the family lounge for lunch and I was greeted by my lovely DRAMA GIRLS, who asked me to kope drinks for them, which I did.

I took a few pictures with michelle A.L., chengmun, genin, tess and vivian, which are above. I have only a few with me so these will be it. The rest will come soon, I hope, GENIN’S DAD HURRY!

Secret(s)

i think letting someone know your secret(s) is/are BAD. especially when it’s during chemistry & this ELIZABETH assumes stuff and goesss “awwwwww……..” the whole time thinking that it’s cute? in addition, giving me first names, which i will get after marriage. -.-

anyway, today was super productive because i did math! didnt complete but i did some questions! HAHA.

today’s investiture rehearsal was fun! i guess i appreciate LUMEN more now. it’s so catchy.. lumen lumen lumen. my attempts at memorising steps are failures! but we all had fun! the sec twos know me better now i think, as the siao zha bor. i like lumen! so fun so fun. i hope they get a catchy song though, to ‘neutralise’ the sort of horrid dance. but nevermind. just enjoy the whole process! PLUS, i got my investiture uniform! YAY YAY! one more week to investiture. chiong practice monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday. CHIONG! so fun so fun!

birthday yesterday was retarded. went for facs chalet OT meeting and facs outing. luckily it was kind of low profile la. phewww. eating at macs with facs was super fun, listening to all those gossips and stuff. AND DETAILS OF HOW CHENXING BREATHED AN USED UNDERWEAR DEEPLY. duh, exaggeration.. taking chenxing’s bags was fun too! hahahahahaha! that horny shit was on the phone while i walked past him, bidding farewell. HOHO. after lunch, went to find henry at plaza singapura toastbox, super retarded in the uniform! but we didnt go in, it was super duper crowded!

japanese dinner at night! had nice food and nice cake! and 200 dollars angpaos! no presents though, but suibian la:D met kuan there & realised that his dad was a customer of my dad. my aunts were just wondering why they kept looking in our direction, appearing to be planning how to kidnap us. ahah!

♥lumen; 1st student council!

Tomorrow

3C’07  simply unforgettable

my lovely family is oh so lovely. from left: sereneBROTHER, jodieMUMMY, xiaoqiBABY, elizabethSISTER & vickiGRANDMA. for your information, the father aka michelle annelim is not in the picture because she was fooling around with yongmei, our female dog aka BITCH aka eileen tan was perhaps flirting with the bulldog next door & our lovely meowmeow cat aka michelle tang dumped us for blanche.

that was so narrative and BORING. i’m bored, what to do? have not been using the computer lately due to my super nice sister who use it day to night.

I LOVE ELIZABETH! i will miss her a lot a lot. i need her daily entertainment, her ramblings over her guys, her graphic details of her kisses, her talk about EDWARD CULLENS!

plus, i’m not safe! she knows more than she should. i cannot leave her alone if not she might tell everyone about *ahem*! oh no!

alright, jodie, stop hyperventilating.

anyway, results are pretty bad. L1R5 of 33? & a MSG skyhigh. bleahs. study study study during holidays!

tomorrow’s the day, but i dont really care la. it comes every year anyway– the dreaded birthday. some people have already wished me a happy birthday:

1. deborah & wanjuan! thanks for the really nice bookmark and pouch, love you two!

2. sheila & jessie

3. shawnteo & *ahem* jay seetow

actually quite a lot already. my dad seems a little secretive. maybe he got me a present? can’t be though, he has never given me a birthday present anyway. eating sushi tomorrow night, yay!

facs chalet OT meeting tomorrow morning, then facs outing! havent seen most of them for ages! & oh no, i’m in a HUAYU COOL mood after replying don’s sms. aly’s going to suffer tomorrow, perhaps xD

yay yay. hopefully no one remembers my birthday tomorrow!

anyway, the student council list is out and i’m in… yiying’s wing–LUMEN. ok, i know the name sucks. it’s supposed to mean LIGHT in latin. can’t they use lustro or something else? sounds more sophisticated than the centres of blood vessels.

people who are planning to come for the investiture, DON’T COME. or else i’ll fall down the steps and sprain my ankle, or even break it. BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO DO THE BIMBO CHEERLEADING thing/dance that they choreographed. can’t we do something easier and more special? so BORING. sigh, this is one thing i don’t like about girls’ school. they just love the BIMBO dance. bleahs.