BACK FROM THE CRUISE;
i guess it was supposed to be a good rest and perhaps a litle fun? but i guess i did have fun and stuff. but i just have to be reminded of the edc production cum facs outing. and ended up feeling really ’sour’ inside. going for cruise the same day as edc production– terrible.

anyway, cruise first. the cruise was really fun except that i got a little giddy in the beginning. but i was fine after. it was mainly eating and eating. and sleeping and sleeping. i slept on the upper ‘deck’, a folded down bed hanging ‘mid air’. really fun though. but we switched off all lights at night and it was really dark. but i had kenneth’s bugs bunny and my mp3 with me. which improved the situation.

the food was pretty good. except that i kept gorging myself for no good reason. and we spent a lot at the arcade. went for karaoke but it was the ‘open’ kind and i didnt dare to sing in front of anybody. megan selected the song ‘walk away’ thinking that it was kelly clarkson’s but it ended up to be some really old song and we were laughing our heads off.

really great to be home because it was getting boring on the cruise since we kept eating and that was it.

and most importantly, home is the place to emo due to the fact that i slept with my mum in a cabin, i cant possibly cry in front of her for not being at the edc production.

Tessa says:
you? left out?
13slc; [facs] jodie© why am I so afraid to crash down and lose my heart again says:
as in, i couldnt make it
13slc; [facs] jodie© why am I so afraid to crash down and lose my heart again says:
and it reminded me of being left out and stuff
Tessa says:
but you’re not left out
Tessa says:
jodie! you imagining things?
Tessa says:
you’re so nice and caring and funny and you organised the soccer and it
Tessa says:
has occured to me that i haven’t been to any facs outing so far

tessa is the love<33 and she cheered me up!

and i guess i wont go for mugging sessions tomorrow. shall just go some nearby and do my work. but i miss hwachong loads. and soccer. doubt they’ll play though. and i doubt they even realised that i wasnt there yesterday. which is like sad? and i am sad.

and i miss people. so i shouldnt go because that’ll just make me emo all over again. and i’ll just regret not hugging them. and not treasuring the time enough.

i regret being in 13slc. the aftermath of 13slc is really tough and terrible to experience. and i dont know why but i tend to feel left out easily. perhaps i dont trust them enough. or perhaps i expect too much from them but they disappointed me. i dont know and i doubt i find out.

just not long ago, i was having a bad time accepting everything and when i finally did, a couple of weeks later, everything just comes back. whats the point?

i sense a tinge of regret in myself. but at the same time, i really enjoyed and treasure this new bunch of friends. i guess there’s nothing wrong with them.

it’s me.